Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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