Porn is love you can see.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
