Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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