I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
