it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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