I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
