What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
