whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
