Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
two words...techno handjob
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
