I swear she didn't look like that last week.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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