glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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