My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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