We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
