He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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