i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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