I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
