Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
