i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
