He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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