I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
