I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
