Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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