Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
