no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
