Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
