If i come over, it means nothing
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
