I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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