after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
