Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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