O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
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