im gay
i know
yea but for you.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
