does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
