Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
