I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I am one with the molecules
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
