i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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