and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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