Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize