i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I still have a little drunk in my system
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
