I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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