i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
