Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
