So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
