Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I met the friendliest cop last night
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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