I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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