Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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