a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
