Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
