please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Randomize
