yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
