Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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