you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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