My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
