we're blogging at a bar
nutella sex= disaster
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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