For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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