I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
