you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
