Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
