My nipple is on Facebook.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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