I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
