East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
