I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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