Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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