you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
