I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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