People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
