I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
