I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
My bed smells like the plague
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
